Hey you! Welcome to part 2 in the How to Organize Your Home & Maintain It Forever series. We’ve already spoken about how we need to be in the Success Mindset to begin our journey.
If you haven’t read the introduction post, I highly advise that you read that first, so that you know what this series is all about. Read that post here!
Are you a spouse or roommate, where you’re doing the majority of the work in your household? Dinner, laundry, dishes? I have been in your position, and I understand that it is excruciatingly painful for your mental health.
I understand that some households are traditional, and I don’t know the constructs of your family. However, the Bible says to train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 (KJV).
So, if you’re a parent and even your children aren’t helping around the house, wouldn't it be a disservice for them to not know how to keep an organized home when they leave?
The great news is, it’s never too late to start anew.
In this chapter, we’re going to discuss how communication is the most important thing that you need to keep your home organized, and happy. We’ll also discuss things that I’ve done to set roles for everyone in the home and make sure that everyone is heard.
So if you’re ready to create a lasting impact on your family to ensure organizational success, keep reading!
Understanding the Role of Communication in Organizing
The Importance of Organization
According to a blog post by Select Health, organizing is important because it can reduce stress, help you sleep better, promote a healthier diet, increase productivity at work, and improve your relationships.
Those are all very important to a healthy home life, and I want to take those topics and explain why I think organization helps with these things.
Reduce Stress
When you know where everything is or when everything is already prepared for you, it can help you not feel overwhelmed, and panicked. You already know what you’re doing, where everything is going, and where to find it, so you don’t have that stress anymore.
Help You Sleep Better
When you’re organized, you’re not tossing and turning, thinking about what you need to do, and who needs to go where, and what needs to what. You know that it’s already been taken care of.
Promotes a Healthier Diet
Being organized helps you prepare your meals for the week, so you already know what you’re going to eat. There’ll be fewer late-night runs to McDonald's, or Chic-fil-A because you’ve already got food covered.
Increases Productivity at Work
You’re no longer at work thinking about what you need to do after you leave, or what you forgot to do before, it’s already done, so now you can give your undivided attention to your career.
Improve Your Relationships
Now you can spend less time running around trying to catch up, and more time planning out your life with your kids or fitting in time with relatives and friends. You can focus on spending time with the ones you love, and not the tasks that need to be done.
This sounds like a top-tier lifestyle, right? It is, and it’s not unattainable! Don’t you want this to be a lifestyle that you can have and one that you can pass on to your children? If you’re here, then I’ll say, yes!
How Effective Communication in Your Household Can Lead to Organizing Success
Effective communication in your household can help you and the members of your household express their wants and needs to the family.
In turn, this helps them to feel more motivated to keep up the work.
If it’s everything you want and nothing of what they want, what motivation do they have to follow along?
As I’ve said, I’ve been in this position before. I was making the lists, planning out the responsibilities by myself, then I would halfway explain the plan to my boyfriend, and have the nerve to get frustrated when he didn’t follow along.
For one, he didn’t fully understand the plan, because he had no part in it. Secondly, it was everything that I wanted. I put everything that I wanted him to do and didn’t ask what he would like to do, or feel motivated to do.
Because of this, each plan failed, and I was building up more and more resentment because I felt like he didn’t care. When truly, I didn’t tell him that I was making a plan or even wanted him involved.
So I want to ask you, does your family know their roles in your household? Did you decide their roles or did they? If the answer is no, or yes and I did, let’s keep reading.
Setting Clear Goals and Expectations
First, you need to call a family meeting. You need to ask your household their opinions. Children are little adults. They have their own minds and they know what they’re feeling.
I don’t have children yet, but I am certified in Early Childhood Development, and I have 3 nieces and nephews, and 6 cousins, who show me that they love and respect me. I talk to them all of the time, like adults.
We have conversations about their dreams, what they want in life, and what would improve their life now. You just have to listen. They’re learning from you, so you already know that they’re intelligent.
You need to ask your family questions. Ask them questions about things that you’re frustrated about. I’ll give you some general questions because everyone’s life is different. Ask them about:
Their Environment
How do you feel about your room?
How do you feel about the house?
Do you like your school?
Current Routines
Would you like to eat dinner at the table every day?
Would you like me to be able to pick you up from school every day, or do you like riding the bus?
Do you feel that you get enough time with me, your spouse (or mommy and daddy)?
Improvements
What would make the house better?
Where would you like to go with mommy and daddy (or me, spouse)?
What meals would you like to start eating for dinner?
Tell them what you see for your family as well. Ask for their opinion on your thoughts. Being intimate with your family shows that you trust them and that they can trust you. It may help them open up more during this time as well.
Depending on the age of children some of their answers may be silly. Just laugh and smile with them, and write it down anyway. Show them that you’re actually listening. Like no, we’re not having candy for dinner, but I’ll keep it in mind for dessert for a fun day.
Be careful how you talk to your spouse and children, ensuring to not shoot anyone’s ideas down. This will lock up the entire meeting, and they won’t want to speak anymore because they’ll feel like you’re not hearing them.
You can try to improve on the ideas, however, if they say no, write the idea down as they said it.
This is a brainstorm, and its purpose is to create a solution for everyone. You may have to compromise some of your own ideals, and so may they.
It’s not supposed to be solemn, it’s supposed to be fun. By doing this, you’re also showing your children how to communicate with each other, and their own families when they get older.
After you have this talk, make sure that you create solutions and improvements together, so that everyone is happy.
Discussing Individual Responsibilities and Contributions
The Super Nanny
I'm not sure if you know about the show Super Nanny.
This show is about a British Nanny, named "JoJo" for short. She goes into other families' homes and helps them create a new structure of habits that resolve the behavior of their misbehaved children.
I'm absolutely hooked! I've watched so many episodes that I can no longer give an accurate guess on how many I've binged.
One thing that I did notice, was that most of the time, you first see the children acting ill-behaved, but as the story unfolds, you understand it's the parents, and their communication or actions that are the root of the entire problem.
She focuses on fixing the habits or techniques of the parents, and the children follow along.
One day, I was watching an episode about parents who relied on their teens to do the majority of the work involving the house and the kids. It was a very heartbreaking episode to watch. It was revealed that the parents were not even aware of the things that they were not doing.
They actually thought they did a lot until Jo made them talk about who actually handled what responsibilities. Near the end, Nanny Jo had them divide up the responsibilities between parents & teens so that the work was more appropriately divided.
It was very interesting because like I said, I used to be so frustrated with my partner. I felt like I was always doing everything, and he would just watch.
Until I watched this episode, I hadn't even thought of the fact that we just never assigned a responsible party for the chores. I just already knew what I had to do, and I hadn’t considered his past habits we had before we met. I thought we would just fall in line.
There are so many different situations, but I wonder how many of these situations could be resolved by a little communication.
Dividing the Responsibility
Assuming you have a healthy team partnership in your household, have you ever sat down with your partner or kids, and divided up the responsibilities?
I don't mean you making the decisions and saying " John, you wash the dishes, Jane, you do this..." They have to volunteer for it. This way they understand that no one gave them that job but themselves, and they have a job that they don't mind.
You should also sweeten the deal, by letting them pick a reward of their choice for completing their task successfully. Even the adults. You can put a dollar limit on the reward if you would like as well.
But this gives everyone a reason to keep striving.
Also, make sure everyone knows that it's everyone's responsibility to pick up after themselves and let them know that a penalty will happen if they make someone else's job harder.
One major thing I’ve learned about childhood development is that children actually love responsibilities. Dividing up the responsibilities in this way usually gives everyone a sense of pride when it comes to their tasks, and it's something that they enjoy at the end of every week.
You’re also ensuring that when they leave the nest, they won’t be helpless and won’t put the same burden that you feel on others. That’s why the Bible tells you to train them up now, because what they leave the house with, is what they’ll take with them forever.
For my boyfriend and I, I printed off a blog that broke down the necessary chores in the home, and we divided them by who would do what.
I haven't been frustrated with him about chores in a very long time. It does, however, take consistency. Especially when you're not already in a habit of doing those tasks.
Give Grace
You as a partner, may need to remind them of their tasks. This shows that you’re serious about this new plan, and they’ll get on board.
They may also need to remind you of yours as well, so inform them of that, and don’t lash out if they point it out to you. It’s for the betterment of everyone.
Remember that this is something new and that each and every one of you will need to be shown some forgiveness as we develop new habits. You can slide, but just make sure that you remain on the track.
Create a Chore Chart
You can absolutely create a chore chart on your own, like I did.
However, I’ve already created a customizable, printable chore chart for you and your family. It will absolutely help keep your new responsibilities in front of your household. There is an area for rewards and penalties to keep everything organized.
I’ve even filled it with the responsibilities that my household follows.
This chore chart has helped my boyfriend and I assign responsibilities and keep our home in order. He’s been motivated to get his tasks done, as well as I have.
Because you’re on this journey, I want to give it to you for 25% off! That’s $4.50 to create a more organized home! Use code: COMMUNICATE at checkout!
What’s Next & What to Look Forward To?
Understanding your family's wants and needs, and dividing up the responsibilities together is so important for your organizational success.
It ensures that you and your family are on the same page, and are working together to create a more harmonious home for everyone.
I highly encourage you to get started today. Try to sit down with everyone, and get this started, so that you can begin your journey to a cozier, more organized home.
I would also like to invite you to be my Homey! Homeys are very awesome people who get notified when I post a new blog. They also get exclusive discounts, free worksheets, and exclusive tips.
They don’t get blown up by gross e-marketing, and they are on their journey to a more peaceful, happier home. I want that for you too!
I’ll be releasing blogs like How to Keep Your House Clean When You’re The Only One Cleaning It, and How To Declutter Your Home When You Care About Everything! in the near future, and I don’t want you to miss out!
The next post in this series will discuss how to organize your home in a systematic way for organizing on autopilot. I’ll notify all of my Homey’s when it’s here which will be very soon!
Click the button below to become my Homey, and start receiving these benefits.
I would like to remind you, that you can cut down some of your homework time by using the chore chart that I’ve created for you and your family. It is printable, and completely customizable through Canva, and it’s 25% off for you using code: COMMUNICATE.
Hey, in case you haven't officially met me yet, I’m Kam! I’m here to give you advice on your home management, home organization, and self-care so that you can live a cozier, more peaceful life. Send me an email at kam@acozyhome.blog, or leave a comment if you want to let me know if I helped you, if I did or didn’t answer your questions in this blog if there was something more that you were hoping to learn, or if you want to share a story with me that I may use in my future blogs. I'm happy to help you!
DISCLAIMERS TO COVER MY (YOU KNOW):
My Advice is Based on Personal Experiences and Research, Not Professional Expertise
It's important to note that while I am not a certified organizer or psychologist, I offer advice based on my own life experiences, research, and personal experiments. If you decide to take my advice, please keep in mind that I am not responsible for any damages (such as injuries or dissolved relationships) that may arise. I do not know your home life or the people in your life, so please consider my advice with caution and determine if it is relevant to your circumstances.
Resources
Comments